mcklutzy - 30/04/2016 05:23 - United States - Buffalo Today, I broke my already broken leg. This will be a long shitty year. FML 612 70
Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML 39 979 7 535
Today, my new boyfriend said I’m only allowed three male friends, and their names are, “the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” When I told him he was quoting Will Ferrell, I realized he was born in Croatia and doesn’t know who that is. FML 795 212
Today, I woke up late for work. I rushed everything, ate a quick meal and was thirsty as hell. I saw a 2-liter Coca Cola bottle, so I poured a huge glass filled with ice and ran out the door. While driving, I took a huge gulp of nice, cold thick cooking oil. FML 2 005 959
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML 30 212 3 315
Today, I argued with my roommate about which eggs to buy: organic, pasture-raised, free-range, or AI-verified climate-positive. We settled on whatever was cheapest. They were $9. FML 179 362
Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML 31 414 1 944
Hey man. It'll be fine. I broke my wrist on Jan. 4th 2013, and Jan. 4th 2014. It sucks but you'll be okay in the end.
If I can get my phone out of a shit filled toilet, you can survive this.