Today, after not having had a bowel movement in five days, I...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Lithos27 - 07/05/2017 05:15

Today, after not having had a bowel movement in five days, I went to the doctor for some laxatives. Now I can't stop pooping...FML.

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 33

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Stuby14 19

Tuesday 9 May 2017 21:00

That's kinda the point...

Talented73 54

Wednesday 10 May 2017 18:47

Rectum? Damn near killed 'um! Talk about having a shitty day.... well, one thing's for certain, your troubles are behind you!

Comments

Stuby14 19

Tuesday 9 May 2017 21:00

That's kinda the point...

Talented73 54

Wednesday 10 May 2017 18:47

Rectum? Damn near killed 'um! Talk about having a shitty day.... well, one thing's for certain, your troubles are behind you!

RainStorm6632 10

Monday 12 June 2017 14:57

Count yourself lucky, even after taking laxatives I'm still not pooping

Mozelle123 10

Thursday 22 June 2017 20:23

You don't have the worst of it. That's been my life since I was a child. Sometimes I'll go that long without a bowel movement and it's painful when I do.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 664

You deserved it 6 662

Today, I ended things with my hometown, on-and-off-again ex-boyfriend. I leave for college soon and felt other things took priority over him (selfish, I know). I met practically every single one of his family members in the street, heard his name being screamed in a department store, and had an overall shitty day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 364

Today, I went to a dealership for a new car. We were halfway through paperwork when the manager informed me I wouldn’t be buying the S Class, but I would be buying a Nissan Micra. Turns out my wife fell asleep in the car, allowing our son to escape and draw smiley faces on the Nissan with a rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 281

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 996

You deserved it 252 100

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's new friend is actually her "replacement". They met a few months ago, and she's really cool, we share the same interests, it's nice to spend time with her, etc., but my girlfriend planned to break up with me and "trained" her because she doesn't want me to be lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 145

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 997

You deserved it 6 097