Intimacy Timing - FML

Timing

Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Stuff

BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

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Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

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man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

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Hidden

bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

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loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

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Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

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katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

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hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

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blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

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Anonymous - 26/08/2017 01:30

Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML

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Homoios 4

Saturday 18 March 2017 12:37

Uvula, it's called an uvula

aelabed 17

Saturday 18 March 2017 19:15

#blowJobThoughts

tsgilly_fml 9

Saturday 18 March 2017 20:41

Tell her it's the G-spot.

pjsr 32

Saturday 18 March 2017 23:55

I see what you did there, Mr Humblebrag

readingrachel 9

Sunday 19 March 2017 5:00

Uvula

James WH 2

Sunday 19 March 2017 19:29

my dick! and shoved her head down on it !

UNfml1979 4

Sunday 19 March 2017 19:52

The head

HorrorJr 26

Tuesday 21 March 2017 4:17

Did you tell her or no?

Lazy34 7

Tuesday 21 March 2017 7:11

Is this a humble brag?

shorts and shots 1

Wednesday 22 March 2017 16:32

gutthi - a suspense thriller short film https://youtu.be/OoerLzO4Zv8 #watch_THEthriller a thrilling story about a writer, a misterious girl and a garbage collector. how their path cross??experience a amazing thriller!!!

YaLikeJazz 0

Thursday 23 March 2017 1:23

What's wrong with her saying that?

Goblin182 26

Friday 31 March 2017 14:50

Old SNL skit. It would Behoovula to take care of your uvula.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

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Today, I realized just how small and boring my life has become when the highlight of my week was an "epic quest" to the edge of the lockdown limit, to visit the only store with my favorite toothpaste. They didn't even have any in stock. FML

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Today, I was working out with the guy I like when he spilled his water bottle. I went to clean up the spill, bashed my face into the weight bar, which broke my nose. FML

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Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

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Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord, meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place, and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML

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Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

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