Inappropriate, Awkward Transportation Three's a crowd

Three's a crowd

Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

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Anonymous - 14/04/2016 17:04 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

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Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

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Pervy

nameless - 09/11/2010 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML

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Anonymous - 06/12/2013 18:15 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

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Stable

Anonymous - 20/06/2019 16:30

Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML

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grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

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Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

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EricCartman - 20/05/2009 03:31 - United States

Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML

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Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

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mastodonkcid 5

Wednesday 13 August 2014 18:51

longest eh?

schhichick 14

Wednesday 13 August 2014 18:52

What was the longest part?

Saraishi 25

Wednesday 13 August 2014 21:24

Dear god, nooooo

booyons 8

Wednesday 13 August 2014 21:36

Some people pay good money for that sort of thing.

pussystank 18

Wednesday 13 August 2014 21:55

So, would it been better if it was a man with a healthier body?

Jaevwyn 17

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:16

Men have penises, get over it OP >.>

tournamentdecide 33

Thursday 14 August 2014 0:51

Women have periods. Get over it, men.

StarkWolf_fml 23

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:17

poor choice of words....OR IS IT?! :-)

justingug76 14

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:18

What a Long and Hard bus ride. Lucky for you there wasnt any bumps in the road.

lakaiskate 12

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:32

Honestly I'm surprised op didn't get out of his seat and offer it to the big guy problem avoided

vikky538 28

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:37

more poles less comfort ...always a problem in the bus...

Emmpaper 13

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:44

Excuse the pun

leeloo900 9

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:49

Dang.. That must have been awkward.. :(

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML

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Today, after my girlfriend of a year got accidentally pregnant, we were discussing it, and she only just now revealed she thinks vaccines are an evil conspiracy between hospitals and drug companies, and she’s carrying my baby. The next 18 years with this mad woman are not going to go well. FML

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Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML

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Today, in my AP U.S. history class, we had a very long, very slow discussion about whether or not Vermont is a state. I think I lost brain cells. FML

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Today, at a family gathering, I gave my toddler my phone to get a moment of peace. After assuring my nosy, judgemental aunt and cousin that I wasn't worried about it because I have dropped it myself numerous times over the last two years, and I trusted the OtterBox phone case it was in, my son dropped and broke it. FML

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Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

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