Intimacy Thoughts and prayers - FML

Thoughts and prayers

Anonymous - 09/08/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

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Freakout

Anonymous - - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

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Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

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Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

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useyourownbed - 18/09/2012 20:06 - United States - Byron

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

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Empathy bypass

Jason - 17/04/2020 02:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my bulimia to my girlfriend of three months. It's a touchy subject for me and I ended up in tears. When I was done talking, I looked up to see my girlfriend's disgusted face. She claimed I had a 'vomit fetish', said I was 'half a man' and broke up with me. FML

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Oversharing is caring

Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

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jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

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thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

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MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

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hoopfrog 14

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:33

Quiet gagging.. Always think BJ hahah

inner_peace 19

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:33

One of those moments where you wish you could have the mind wipe device from "Men in Black." Most definitely FYL, OP.

kurodansei 16

Monday 11 August 2014 5:53

I saw that coming and so did OP if they stuck around.

Murkyy 15

Tuesday 12 August 2014 5:36

Well that blows...

sharedcat 6

Tuesday 12 August 2014 8:47

Did you find out why she was gagging?

ShenaniganNinja 20

Tuesday 12 August 2014 18:25

If you thought she had bulimia, she would have been in the bathroom gagging, not her room. Going into your siblings room, YDI.

Stonecold_xo 6

Saturday 16 August 2014 13:37

Thats disgusting to hear and see, sorry op.

kaylaaa01 11

Saturday 16 August 2014 15:43

Did no one know that her boyfriend was over? Because if so, shouldn't that be your first assumption?

Batman_1872 20

Saturday 16 August 2014 18:35

200th yeah

jessiejamesp 11

Monday 24 November 2014 6:24

Next time I guess you should knock louder or ask he to put a sock on the door

RomeyRich 22

Monday 21 March 2016 5:25

guess OP never saw that coming ;)

HeisenburgLabs 15

Friday 25 March 2016 3:23

¯_(ツ)_/¯

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

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Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message halfway through completion, saying the deal was off because my prices were "so low, it seems like a scam." FML

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Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

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Today, I bought a new smart scale that automatically broadcasts your weight to your fitness app. I didn’t realize it also shared updates with my gym group chat. They all got a notification titled, “Progress Report: Attempt #1.” It wasn’t progress. FML

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Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

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