Food, Gross Sleep The runs

The runs

Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

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Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

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hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

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Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

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pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

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Time to flee the crime scene

Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

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Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

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JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

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No more late night beers

so this is how today is going to go? - 19/06/2022 04:00

Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML

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UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

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FireS Pitt In kitten 2

Monday 4 January 2021 20:48

I meeeaann....u didn't smell it?

tounces7 27

Tuesday 5 January 2021 1:33

Probably a good idea to wear underwear when you're the guest in someone elses house.....

Vortigaunt86 16

Monday 4 January 2021 11:13

Did you have a night terror?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 4 January 2021 12:40

This is a good time to yell "****!"

Seeya55 31

Monday 4 January 2021 17:25

Must have scared the shit outta him.

FireS Pitt In kitten 2

Monday 4 January 2021 20:48

I meeeaann....u didn't smell it?

tounces7 27

Tuesday 5 January 2021 1:33

Probably a good idea to wear underwear when you're the guest in someone elses house.....

sarahcroy20 12

Tuesday 5 January 2021 4:54

Could you not feel it? I mean how could you not feel it all over you?

DrSamba1 8

Tuesday 5 January 2021 9:07

Something like that once happened to me. To be fair, it was after a day of drinking clear liquids before starting a colonoscopy prep, and there was no mother-in-law to be seen.