That caffeine rush

Anonymous - 26/11/2020 14:02

Today, whilst getting ready, I decided to have a strong coffee. Followed by the runs. My hook up arrives in half an hour. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

KitKat20 - 18/10/2016 13:05 - United States - Fargo

Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML

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Slow down

Anonymous - 17/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML

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WAKE UP IT'S MONDAY MORNING!

Anonymous - 02/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML

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Strung out

Anonymous - 22/01/2023 16:30 - Australia

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

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Not a morning person

Anonymous - 03/02/2022 18:01

Today, I went to make coffee, but having just woken up, I forgot the paper filter. You can guess what was in my coffee… FML

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Great start

Anonymous - 27/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML

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Charly - 05/01/2009 06:16 - France

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

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smoker - 26/01/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML

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Smooth

firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

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Waste of time

Anonymous - 11/08/2019 00:01

Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 November 2020 16:40

Maybe you'll get lucky and find a guy who's into that shit. I mean strong coffee, of course. Butt plug! ;)

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 26 October 2020 6:55

Oh shit... better run...

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 26 October 2020 6:55

Oh shit... better run...

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 November 2020 16:40

Maybe you'll get lucky and find a guy who's into that shit. I mean strong coffee, of course. Butt plug! ;)

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

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Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

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Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

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Today, I met my father-in-law for the first time. He went on a big rant how men are superior intellects and women contribute nothing to society. Ironic, as it took me, a woman, 30 seconds to notice it's biologically impossible for him to be my husband's father. After 33 years, both he and my husband haven't figured it out. FML

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Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

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Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

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