Health Thanks, I think?

Thanks, I think?

Skimilk - 18/02/2010 02:47 - Australia

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

sick - 30/09/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML

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Fight or flight

Jeffery89000 - 14/09/2024 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML

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Morning joe

Christine.T - 27/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML

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Anonymous - 10/12/2015 05:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML

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Rookie mistake

George P - 12/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML

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Latte

Latte - 15/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I ordered my usual at my local coffee shop. The barista asked, “Name for the order?” For some reason, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Latte.” So they called out “Latte” when it was ready, and I had to shame-walk to the counter. FML

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Plooped

ZombieMommy - 10/03/2017 05:00 - United States - Conroe

Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed 2 weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past 3 days. FML

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All you need is hate

Anonymous - 06/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML

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technical - 31/03/2015 02:50 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

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apparentfatty - 11/11/2011 11:50 - Canada

Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML

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mushoo_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 9:26

Ah, so you weren't the FIRST to notice that you're fat.

heeheehoo 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 9:26

at least she helped some.

Rickymonkeypants 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:08

dude she likes you ....shed 20 pounds and then tap that ass

lickmyjock 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:16

OP needs a nice velvet strap on first.

Rickymonkeypants 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:30

no op needs to shed 20 lbs first then strap on

Rickymonkeypants 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:12

you sir just gave that snicker chick a world class pwn....win

fireandice27 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:18

Your barista is awesome.

AbOvE_88 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:26

*stands up, claps and whistles*:)

null_fml 11

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:27

No offense to either party, but of all the things we as FML-commenters have argued about since this site began, I think whole vs. skim milk might just take the cake for being the most trivial! *sheds a tear* I'm so proud...

Rickymonkeypants 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:28

um farmers feed pigs/cows/chickens corn to fatten them up not skim milk along with hormons to turn them into a fatty oh some pigs are fed food grabage along with ground up dead cows and chickens (thank you dirty jobs and food Inc for informing people) and how would you feed them milk? let alone skim milk is Beond me....