Love, Health Relatable Thanks asshat - FML

Thanks asshat

DietingTomorrow - 09/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was cleaning a tall window on a stepping stool. All of a sudden, the stool gave way under me, sending me plummeting to the ground. My husband muttered, “Maybe if you laid off the Krispy Kremes this wouldn’t have happened!” laughed and left. My 16 year-old daughter had to drive me to the ER. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Bad start

Kathryn - 28/10/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, I was getting ready for school and stepped out on my porch to go wait for the bus. I literally said out loud, “Today is gonna be a good day.” I took one step and fell all the way down the stairs. FML

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ashamedklutz - 22/02/2014 00:20 - United Kingdom - Dunfermline

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

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Busted

Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

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Fitness

mobster - 26/07/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

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Best foot forward

Anonymous - 06/07/2020 02:02

Today, after a month of things going wrong in my life and finally getting better, I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. Then, I fell down the stairs. FML

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Health hazard

Anonymous - 12/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML

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Skittish

bronzemedal97 - - United States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

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Slippery situation

Slippery - 11/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, it had rained and the marble steps outside my office were slicker than I expected. I was trying to navigate down them with a coffee cup in one hand and my phone in the other when I was startled by a notification, slipped, threw my coffee up in the air, and landed flat on my back. Of course there were spectators. FML

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Klutz

Erin Duncan - 09/01/2026 12:00

Today, my klutziness reached a new level. I was walking down a flight of stairs, sneezed, and proceeded to fall down, scraping the crap out of my knees and spraining my dominant wrist. FML

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Evil child

little_star78 - 13/11/2013 11:08 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

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CowgirlWithHeart 15

Sunday 10 September 2023 0:08

Thats so sad, I am sorry your hubby is not a nice person.

FluffythePink 23

Sunday 10 September 2023 22:33

Smells like new husband time...

Billsonhamsen 17

Saturday 9 September 2023 14:55

What was broken? Why did you go to the er?

CowgirlWithHeart 15

Sunday 10 September 2023 0:08

Thats so sad, I am sorry your hubby is not a nice person.

FluffythePink 23

Sunday 10 September 2023 22:33

Smells like new husband time...

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a man reminded me five times how much of a "nice guy" he was during our first conversation, saying also that I seem the sort to date the "bad guys" because I looked sweet and innocent. Then, without waiting for me to say something, he sighed and walked away, muttering that he always finished last. FML

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Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

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Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

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Today, I was saying goodbye to my fiancée on a train station platform. I got on the train, the doors closed, and trying to be romantic, I blew on the glass to draw a heart in the condensation. It made the drawing of a previous passenger appear: a cock. FML

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Today, I left 20 minutes early for school to get a good seat in class. I sat in traffic for 20 minutes before I even got on the thruway and for another 25 minutes once I got off the exit for school. Then I couldn't find parking at my university. I missed class. FML

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Today, and for the past few weeks, I've been dating a new guy. Things were going well, we had planned a romantic weekend getaway, but when we got to the hotel, we found out that our reservation had been cancelled. The hotel was fully booked, and we had to spend the night in separate rooms at a sketchy motel. FML

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