Sex Intimacy Technique - FML

Technique

shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

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Sexy times

Anonymous - 01/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML

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Quickie

cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

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Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

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apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

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Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

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Libido

Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

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Protip

Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

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Slacker

Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

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serenti - 13/10/2011 21:30 - Sweden

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

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Not fair

Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

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perdix 29

Monday 25 October 2010 23:19

Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"

MissErikaHart 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:50

"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"

suckmysarcasm 10

Monday 8 November 2010 3:12

its no a problem unless he starts screaming yabba dabba doo when he cums.

Blooregard86 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:25

better than nothing.

Concray 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 20:27

At least it isn't the opposite...

CheapGodiva 0

Monday 4 April 2011 7:32

So dump him.

jadejazmyn 5

Wednesday 15 June 2011 4:21

Get a new boy friend!

mkmorgan30 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 2:18

I don't get how guys cum so fast? I'm a guy and my first time I lasted somewhere between 45-60 mins

jmypetersen 2

Tuesday 11 October 2011 5:41

#124 - ima call bullshit

jdh1997 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 21:03

That is freakin hilarious

littlexlune 16

Thursday 29 August 2013 17:35

Compromise.

poor_gurll1198 17

Wednesday 9 April 2014 21:13

Put on the flinstones so he can make your bed rock

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 18 June 2014 6:44

It works right? Still I hope he doesn't have to in the future

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

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Today, despite being the president of the Japanese club at my school since it started, my mom will not let me go on a school-sponsored trip to Japan. She's worried that North Korea will fire a missile at Japan while I'm there. FML

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Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

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Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

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Today, a colleague told me not to "tell him how to do his job." I used to have his position three years ago, and he took over from me. FML

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Today, my parents took the car I was supposed to get for my graduation back. Note to self: Don’t fall asleep at your friend Diane’s house past curfew. PS: Don’t lie about being at Diane’s, because they called her mom, who said I wasn’t there. I was actually at my boyfriend’s apartment. FML

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