Miscellaneous Tanning - FML

Tanning

Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Run run run!

Anonymous - 25/07/2013 20:33 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

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Baked

NotHappyJan - 03/12/2018 03:00

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

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IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

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Cheeky

Anonymous - 29/08/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

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Jonnygiant - 14/03/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

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Drying times

helplesssssss - - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

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mediocreboobs - 18/02/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

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Anonymous - 26/07/2019 04:00

Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML

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Locked out

ClumsyKatey - 02/07/2017 22:00

Today, due to an incident with the dishwasher, a coat rack and my bathrobe, I ended up locked out of my house, naked as a jaybird. I had to hide in the backyard for several hours until my family got home from their various activities to get back in. They still haven't stopped laughing at me. FML

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youjustsuck - 25/07/2011 18:07 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

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Welshite 39

Sunday 13 July 2014 14:44

Time to go all Adam and Eve and grab a few leaves.

avadakedabra 15

Sunday 13 July 2014 14:43

You should have left some sort of indication for people to know you're home. YDI

Articulation 12

Sunday 13 July 2014 15:04

I'm guessing you got quite the tan...

lifeofpie25 16

Sunday 13 July 2014 15:08

Ok now wait for your mom to see your even tan

Earths_Venus 25

Sunday 13 July 2014 15:09

Am I the only one who wants to know how you explained that one to your Mum?

beaverteaser 16

Sunday 13 July 2014 15:10

next on naked and afraid

TheCrispyCat 20

Sunday 13 July 2014 17:16

Best comment of the thread.

Lilady 4

Sunday 13 July 2014 15:21

Haha that's kind of funny. Really hope your mum came back soon though :/

pooldude 24

Sunday 13 July 2014 15:56

i just hope that no one saw you naked!

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 13 July 2014 16:53

At least it wasn't your father but you might have something to cover yourself if needed I just wonder how you mother didn't realize you were home

night_saint 5

Sunday 13 July 2014 17:11

no cellphone?

sonshadsil94 15

Sunday 13 July 2014 17:33

pics or it didn't happen

VyronBuckingham 9

Sunday 13 July 2014 17:33

Good job

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

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Today, my cat was diagnosed with FIV, to which my in-laws said, "That's impossible!" Apparently, what is possible though is that aliens are stealing their pool water. FML

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Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. Five minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

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Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML

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Today, as I'd been going to a gym with my wife as a guest on her account, I joined as a regular member. However, before I had time to go under my own membership, the gym closed down due to the coronavirus. FML

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Today, I was forced to sit silently through my 20-year-old daughter's wedding to a man who is 8 years older than I am. FML

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