Intimacy Stuck

Stuck

robzzz - 16/02/2012 07:13 - Canada

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

32 706

3 856

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

sendhelp - 03/08/2015 05:31 - United States - Provo

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

27 622

2 461

anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

25 577

17 506

Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

1 792

199

Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

38 545

4 033

Stay safe out there

Anonymous - 20/02/2021 18:30 - United States - Bronx

Today, for the third time in less than a week, my dumbass roommate has a bunch of friends over. None of them are wearing masks and I don't feel comfortable leaving my room. I'm fucking starving and can't go to the kitchen to get food. The idiot is a fucking nursing major. FML

1 352

443

raybandy - 24/01/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

26 287

2 374

Stuck in a rut

amandanoelle - 09/10/2016 06:42 - United States - Hot Springs National Park

Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML

11 651

1 788

cereal stepper - 23/10/2016 09:42

Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML

7 707

5 565

Bugged

IEatDammit - 30/01/2009 03:26 - Canada

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic so to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her. Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

27 485

6 254

Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

4 838

394

Pentium_4 27

Thursday 16 February 2012 12:00

ahhh of course. i'll bet their goal is to do it in every room in the house, so eventually they're going to do it in your bed while you're gone!

yahoowizard 16

Thursday 16 February 2012 12:07

Order pizza, get the camera ready, then wait for the delivery guy to get there. And then profit.

_Could_Be_Worse 11

Wednesday 27 May 2015 1:38

I would walk in there like nothing was happening and get my food.

patriots1287 2

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:18

sounds like they are making a "steamy" dinner;)

PsudoAnon 20

Friday 29 July 2016 9:23

Or you could eat in a half hour, and later have a conversation with your roommate about privacy.

LEbleuDESreves 10

Friday 9 June 2017 21:53

I'll go there and Make

LEbleuDESreves 10

Friday 9 June 2017 21:57

i'll go there and make myself donner after saying : 'carry on, don't mind me. I'm just gonna make myself something to eat. I'll be out in a minute' That'll teach them a good lesson