Football Kids STOP SCREAMING

STOP SCREAMING

Anonymous - 30/12/2013 12:10 - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

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Tantrum

Gloria - 25/06/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

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brichard22 - 12/07/2015 14:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

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Whack-a-Mole

Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

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It's the new thing!

Squeakyclean - 23/08/2021 08:01

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML

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Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

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Cheat code

justno - 15/04/2022 00:00

Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML

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unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

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Water Daughter - 13/10/2013 05:51 - United States

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

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Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

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imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

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injuredathlete 12

Monday 30 December 2013 16:03

someone needs to learn good behavior.

uarudeassbitchyo 17

Monday 30 December 2013 16:04

Your child is a genius!

16sparklytrees 13

Friday 15 May 2015 23:48

maybe think about us daughter whilst I watch sports ydi

xRiverSongx 17

Tuesday 26 May 2015 6:24

Good thing football sucks.

daemonsparta 16

Saturday 1 August 2015 22:04

your child is parenting you. ..see where you've gone wrong because you can't keep calm over a game?

BlackyxRose 11

Tuesday 6 October 2015 5:34

I found this oddly hilarious :)

jokersmile13 10

Thursday 22 October 2015 16:33

Be ******* happy and impressed, your kid is ******* smart

AlbinoMoose987 14

Wednesday 27 July 2016 2:07

Well... I don't know... Maybe you just should... Stop scaring your young daughter!!!

Tyrax 16

Tuesday 6 September 2016 9:34

*shakes head* Bribery my ass. Punishment. Service provider, obviously. Then maybe explain that it isn't scary screaming, it's happy screaming. Like at parties.