Sex, Argument Intimacy So generous

So generous

noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

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Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

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omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

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notthebesttime - 13/10/2012 12:04

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

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pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

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Enticing

Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

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TheIVkindaruinsthemood - 05/08/2015 18:58 - United States - Milford

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

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kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

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Close but no BJ

nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

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Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

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perdix 29

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:15

If he really wanted to make you happy, he'd give you permission to blow a guy with a real-sized dick.

oxemilyxo 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:03

That sucks. I'm sorry /:

purple1sky 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:44

that's funny...so go enjoy it and be happy

strawberrydreams 18

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:46

This one of those opportunities to say where you have the right to say get the **** out. At least, that's what I would do.

sweetandsexy 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:56

haha I was going to say that, oh the irony !

lokrar789 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:03

Some people get all the luck

joncole 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:06

Starting a band hand full o Peter haha

slushpup9696 12

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:11

You deserve it for dating a douchebag and expecting something sweet from him.

jigsawbanana 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:17

Atleast he gave you permission!

EmoKittyLovesYou 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:27

Tell him he has "permission" to get slapped

balljoints 8

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:28

Sounds like an easy going dude

bullrider92 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:29

My girlfriend would tell me I have her permission to hit the door.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

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Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

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Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML

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Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML

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Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

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Today, my dog won’t eat the premium $30 per kilo food I buy him, but he will eat other dog’s shit. FML

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