Kids, Neighbours Drugs Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

Dumbweed - 28/08/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

15 258

67 757

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

30 850

9 738

Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

21 174

1 638

Dope

valarmorgoolies - - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

32 189

3 099

Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

693

2 664

FFS - 06/05/2018 01:30

Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML

4 619

356

Anonymous - 16/12/2011 03:55 - United States

Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML

40 051

14 081

Smoking hot dude

Anonymous - 05/07/2018 19:00

Today, I told my parents that I'm a smoker. My mother started crying, and said she worried I was gay, but this is almost as bad. That lead on to part two of my confession. FML

4 318

730

Check yourself

Anonymous - 28/10/2014 23:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

35 538

3 878

EgoMoose - 28/12/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

34 449

5 800

Well played

stepshart - 21/08/2014 19:30 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

46 153

3 086

senior_dingdong 0

Friday 28 August 2009 12:26

and thats why you NEVER ASSUME damn teens today just give her a joint and tell her to calm the hell down

mtt9 0

Friday 28 August 2009 12:49

nice neighbourhood.

uggggh 0

Monday 1 February 2010 7:09

You are officially screwed i bet

RebeccaWvvv 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 23:37

Never confess man; never confess

TrollHunter 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 4:05

nice job druggy

SuperMuffin 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 0:19

YDI for smoking that crap.

Nother_Username 0

Monday 22 March 2010 0:22

Children, calm down, marijuana is good 4 u.

hellokeroppi 5

Monday 14 June 2010 11:31

moron

gammielikeoh 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:35

I was watching an episode of George Lopez, and he tried that on his kids only vice versa to see what they did. hilarious.

jdawg2010 0

Monday 6 June 2011 5:53

so... how was that? that my friend is the result of killing your brain cells!

budd28 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 20:13

yikes well at least you confessed

ParkersGirl 0

Friday 15 July 2011 4:39

EPIC FAIL!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

26 053

69 647

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

45 533

6 853

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

34 858

2 993

Today, I spent a lot of effort making sure my roommate had a good birthday. We've hooked up in the past, and a mutual friend of ours is staying the night. Also someone I've made out with before. We were hanging out and the vibes were good, but when I initiated a cuddle puddle, they declined. Now they are hooking up without me. FML

142

376

Today, I found out that conducting CPR and saving a man's life means nothing if you break his ribs. He is suing me for $10,000. FML

6 513

425

Today, I've been suffering from unbearable headache, fever, agonizing body pain for more than ten days. I took a COVID test, an antibiotic tablets course, even a dengue test. Finally after spending my entire bank balance on tests and MRI, it was diagnosed as a migraine - which went away with a single tablet. FML

994

299