Shouldn't have said that! - FML

Shouldn't have said that!

FML Approved - 15/09/2017 03:30 - France - Paris

Requesting nudes is always a delicate operation...

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

UDIRTYMUFFINS 8

Saturday 16 September 2017 16:23

it shouldn't be an issue if that's your girlfriend!!

UDIRTYMUFFINS 8

Saturday 16 September 2017 16:23

it shouldn't be an issue if that's your girlfriend!!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

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Today, my wife wanted to spice things up by making a sex tape. Not sure if it was excitement or just the pressure of being on camera, but the whole thing was less than 4 minutes, including foreplay and apologising, and due to bad camera placement most of the film was of my asshole. FML

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Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML

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Today, I asked my best friend why she didn't ask our other best friend Anna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She said, "She's too pretty. I need ugly bridesmaids to make me look better." I am the maid of honor. FML

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Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML

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Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

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