Cats, Grandparents Animals Self defence

Self defence

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Second class citizen

crapped on - - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

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Freak out

zAstonish - - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

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Caturday surprise!

keeperstride - - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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Instant cure

Username -

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

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Thanks, I feel better!

anon - - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

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Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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Prank protip

Ca13b - - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

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Demon child

PeanutlyDisabled - - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

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Leave me alone!

Anonymous - - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML

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Caturday surprise!

Cats...FML - - Australia

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

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g3rusz 6

Tuesday 8 December 2009 12:39

Alzheimer's and pepper spray don't really mix well. FYL.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 8 December 2009 12:29

File an assault charge against her. She will never learn otherwise. :-P

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Tuesday 8 December 2009 11:50

haha

detroitsucks247 3

Wednesday 5 October 2011 6:21

If you read this give it a "thumbs up"

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Tuesday 8 December 2009 11:53

wow that was cool it wouldnt let me edit my first comment i wanted to say; god i hate pepper spray there should be a test for old people to have it actually, there should be a test for everyone its stupid anyway