Sex, Cheating Love Scoundrel - FML

Scoundrel

oops123 - 15/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Douche

YouDontSay - 10/05/2015 15:35 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

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ahhh - 03/08/2015 06:06 - United States - Northbrook

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML

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impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

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doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

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Anonymous - 10/05/2019 16:00

Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML

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Misleading

Anonymous - 25/10/2023 20:00

Today, I dressed up nicely to see the guy that I like and have been talking to for the last 3 months. Just when I thought he was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend, he told me that he's actually had a girlfriend for 3 years now, but was too afraid to tell me because he really likes me. FML

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Nope

Anonymous - 07/04/2023 16:00

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML

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Anonymous - 05/04/2009 09:43 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

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taylor w - 31/10/2014 02:32 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

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Anonymous - 09/01/2010 21:26 - United States

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

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I_am_stupid_also 6

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:23

Tell him there is a rash that has been bothering you, but you need some cash to go get it checked out.

TouchDown_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:18

Well now it's time to get her number or Fackbook page :-)

Chibi_Mia_Chula 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 6:10

What a jerk. You should have slapped him.

omgwtf99 13

Sunday 6 June 2010 18:54

u shoulda told him u had aids

RecklessxDoll 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 11:40

I have guys trying to be funny with me just on the first meeting! obviously I rejected their advances. how can you be so easy?

TheyCallMeThumpe_fml 0

Monday 9 August 2010 1:58

ydi for being a **** and sleeping with a guy you barely know because you've been "hanging out for 2 months" smh

Crista_hurt 0

Monday 11 October 2010 0:52

What does ydi mean

llllJakubllll 0

Friday 19 November 2010 0:40

shit is just funny

barbiegirl491 1

Thursday 7 April 2011 21:52

what a dick.

kat815 0

Monday 16 May 2011 11:58

after hanging out for 2 months that might have been something he could have mentioned what a dick

xxScarletxx 3

Thursday 23 June 2011 22:52

Ask him for her cellphone # or name and call/search her and then tell her what he did(: WIN-WIN.

alyrawr 2

Saturday 9 July 2011 7:53

The same thing happened to me, the best u can do is get revenge and make him wish he were never born :)

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

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Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

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Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

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Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML

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Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. The kicker is, I'm 5 months pregnant and didn't even know it - no symptoms, nothing. I thought it was weight gain due to antidepressants and I'm also dealing with financial issues. I'm too far along to get an abortion, and adoption is not an option. FML

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