Miscellaneous Run! - FML

Run!

Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Username - 28/02/2012 00:37 - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

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Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

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Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

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Jog on

Anonymous - - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

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Tough guy, huh?

Anonymous - 14/06/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Croydon

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

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Captain Badass

NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

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Headshot

PeterRabit - 25/07/2009 15:11 - Canada

Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML

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Anonymous - 19/05/2013 20:33 - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

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Josh - 06/03/2015 00:25 - United States - Fenton

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

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whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

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haw008 14

Saturday 5 November 2011 5:42

Your "rep" won't matter when you're dead.

stuth186 7

Saturday 5 November 2011 5:42

At least they were only chasing you, you can't outrun a bullet

MustangMan29 13

Saturday 5 November 2011 18:52

YDI for caring about what people think of you.

ih82bl8 2

Saturday 5 November 2011 19:19

Aaaahahaaha!!!!

MoonPhase123 4

Saturday 5 November 2011 20:22

You very much deserved for being retarded -.-

JadedJarOfHearts 3

Saturday 5 November 2011 20:24

Why were you on my reservation?!?

daydreamer244 13

Saturday 5 November 2011 21:44

Your "rep hung in the balance"!? What the hell, you care more about your "rep" than your life and safety....

iamthefire 3

Saturday 5 November 2011 22:25

i dare you to not give a **** about what people think of you and get on with your life.

PinkFun1969 9

Sunday 6 November 2011 7:46

Thank you I needed that advice for my own life;-)

bow_chicka_wowow 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 23:01

ydi for being stupid

anniexd92 3

Sunday 6 November 2011 1:10

Nice :) hope ur rep is better than ur life :))

SorrowFull 8

Sunday 6 November 2011 1:20

I bet they were dared to chase after you.

dkainjr 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 1:40

What was the end result?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

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Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

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Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

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Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML

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Today, I saw one of the gay kids from my class getting picked on, so I tried to stand up for him. Not only did I get my ass kicked, but now my girlfriend thinks I might secretly be gay. Why? Because, in her own words, "Straight guys never defend gay guys!" She fails to see anything wrong with this mindset. FML

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Today, my husband, who's a recovering alcoholic, and I are on holiday with our kids. He's decided he can have a few drinks because he deserves "a holiday too". He doesn't see why this should ruin ours. FML

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