Intimacy, Sex Weird Roll with it

Roll with it

Anonymous - 02/07/2023 05:00 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my new girlfriend and I finally did the deed. I also realized today that I have a strange kink. An outie belly button. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

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Genetics

outie - 13/09/2020 02:02

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML

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No kink-shaming on FML

thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

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Belly bounce

Anonymous - 27/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML

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Thorough check

Anonymous - 24/01/2014 23:34 - United States - Akron

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML

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TMI

Disgusted - 05/07/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

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Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

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What's wrong with me?

Anonymous - 06/10/2010 08:30 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

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B'Dawk - 14/10/2018 13:30

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML

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moerae - 03/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

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Studious_Gluteus 19

Sunday 2 July 2023 22:49

I don't understand. What's the problem here?

poopface82 23

Sunday 2 July 2023 13:51

You like what you like. Just be glad it’s an outie belly button and not some bizarre fetish shit.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 2 July 2023 13:32

It probably means you secretly want dick. It's ok -- things have been getting better for you people lately.

poopface82 23

Sunday 2 July 2023 13:51

You like what you like. Just be glad it’s an outie belly button and not some bizarre fetish shit.

Studious_Gluteus 19

Sunday 2 July 2023 22:49

I don't understand. What's the problem here?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

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Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

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Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

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Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML

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Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

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Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

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