Intimacy Quickie

Quickie

cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

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This is shit

Anonymous - 03/01/2011 01:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

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stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

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Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

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Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

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Slacker

Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

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Time is money

asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

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Technique

shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

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hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

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user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

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Mr Selfish

Anonymous - 20/04/2021 11:00

Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML

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Anonymous874598 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:31

Have you tried sucking his dick before sex ?

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 11:35

What is he like 90?

Mortgaged 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 11:49

Confucious say when you point finger, you have 3 pointing at you. Think about it.

iSwag 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 11:56

FYL

Mr_26 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 12:02

erections are for *******

DynamicDave 11

Thursday 14 January 2010 12:27

Lmao! 14 FTMFW!

I'madumbass 19

Wednesday 28 June 2017 18:09

What does FTMTW mean?

neverminddd 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 12:39

This isn't a FYL, it's a FHISLIFE

epoh_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 12:51

lol at 14! 1 internets but seriously. fyl.

toomuchcrap 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 12:56

#14 yes they are

XR6Falcon 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 13:24

he is a loser. get a new BF

davidhasmorefun 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 14:38

and you are with him because? I know. he has money right. if not then you are stupid. get a new boyfriend.

Ilovelife07 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:44

try giving him a rim job

lokar_ogar 11

Monday 23 March 2015 17:38

Thats gross

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML

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Today, I'm on crutches and wearing an orthopedic boot because a 22.5 pound box of cat litter fell out of my back hatch onto my foot. FML

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Today, my stepdaughter, who despises me and lives in the same house, says she wouldn't go out for a birthday dinner with the family because I was going. She still expects me to drive her for a one-and-a-half hour round trip to drop her off at work. FML

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Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

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Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML

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Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

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