Intimacy: Protip - FML

Protip

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 422

You deserved it 73 619

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Same thing different taste

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 249

You deserved it 23 029

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Spicy

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 672

You deserved it 44 771

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 614

You deserved it 5 651

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 680

You deserved it 20 303

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 837

You deserved it 2 641

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 666

You deserved it 9 950

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 176

You deserved it 4 224

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 476

You deserved it 9 336

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 072

You deserved it 3 755

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 073

You deserved it 45 949

Next

Top comments

cherrybollosm04 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:03

YDI be more sanitary

shewasalmost18 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:08

uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?

Comments

AssOf2009 0

Monday 27 July 2009 23:20

What the hell? Were you saving it?

fmh123 0

Monday 27 July 2009 23:22

shoulda flushed it my thoughts exactly

SnayUnicornPower 0

Monday 27 July 2009 23:24

ICK ICK ICK!!!!!!! THIS is why there should be a garbage can in your room. Uggghhh.

tensor 0

Monday 27 July 2009 23:35

you dont flush condoms and you dont throw them away in strange places.

rustyrox 0

Monday 27 July 2009 23:56

hahaahaa fyl

Nemesai 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 0:07

Ha thats happened to me, except I do my own laundry

Sipos 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 0:17

Ewwww. YDI. Throw them away!

blacklite69 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 1:44

That's disgusting, dude. Bin it.

vt_mruhlin 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 2:57

Why was your dad heading to your girlfriend's house?

Me27 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 2:58

That's great parenting right there. Sigh.

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The Top

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 426

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I agree, your life sucks 44 280

You deserved it 4 056

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I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 101

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I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 102

Today, due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he "gets it figured out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 610

You deserved it 3 170

Today, the man who fired me from my job became my stepfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 168

You deserved it 1 712