Intimacy, Health, Sex Food Pros and cons

Pros and cons

Diane Princess - 08/01/2022 20:01

Today, the guy I picked up made me bacon and a bagel for breakfast. I was so turned on by this gesture that we did it again in my kitchenette… Only this time, I was farting uncontrollably because I have celiac disease. FML

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fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

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ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

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Self sabotage

Anonymous - 28/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, I gave myself a major foodgasm by creating an absolutely yummy egg and mushroom salad with mustard. Turns out, though, that my digestive abilities are not quite as good as my culinary ones. FML

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The Conquest of Bread

Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

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Dinnertime

u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

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Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

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Relax, don't do it…

Anonymous - 05/06/2022 08:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I met up with a guy who I've hooked up with 2-3 times before. He gives amazing head. I was sitting on my couch and he was on his knees on the floor in front of me. He was doing his thing, it was incredible and all of a sudden, I didn't even feel it coming, I farted on his chest. FML

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Fidgeting

Anonymous - 17/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML

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My body hates me

HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

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ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

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SJKatt 15

Saturday 8 January 2022 20:26

Celiac would do a heck of a lot more than just farting to you if you ate a bagel. Must have been one hell of a sex session for you to forget about it.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 8 January 2022 21:11

You should have just eaten the bacon and left the bagel. If this guy has a future with you, you were going to have to tell him about your celiac disease with one end of your alimentary canal or the other.

SJKatt 15

Saturday 8 January 2022 20:26

Celiac would do a heck of a lot more than just farting to you if you ate a bagel. Must have been one hell of a sex session for you to forget about it.