Intimacy Proof - FML

Proof

misoranomegami - 21/06/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

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Spyware

Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

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Alone time

Anonymous - 19/04/2021 14:00

Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML

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djoe - 28/10/2010 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

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Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

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BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

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Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

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Banned

Helen - 22/03/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

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How very dare you?

Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

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Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

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Juicenub 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Hopefully the video won't shake things up.

AlwaysWatching 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Did your mom not notice that? That would be awkward having a video of your room shown around anyway....

cpmagma 15

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:25

and the crazy cat lady begins lol

BrainStew27 12

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:41

Could have been worse. After I read the first sentence I was worried something had happened to the cat.

tuffer 3

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:15

insert pussy pun here.

jetsfan204 4

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:12

Looks like that's not the only pussy that vibrator is gonna touch!!

TyChief 8

Sunday 22 June 2014 2:03

lol kitty strikes again

drshn 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 2:37

pussy on a vibrator, well life is cyclic, I guess.

Nessco 36

Sunday 22 June 2014 3:03

This is why you must always put the toys away when you've finished with them.

NodakN8V 25

Sunday 22 June 2014 6:29

It's the "other" kind of cat toy

maggiefox 25

Sunday 22 June 2014 7:37

Facebook :)

katthompson 7

Sunday 22 June 2014 7:49

That's horrible. :( I would be so embarrassed....

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Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

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Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML

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