Sex Intimacy Priorities

Priorities

MacBook - 14/05/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML

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Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

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CmS_1733 - 11/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Pottsville

Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML

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Heat of the moment

Anonymous - 23/03/2025 21:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML

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Parental advice

ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

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Pull up

ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

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konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

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Nope out of there

twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

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Listening in

Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

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meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

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In the heat of the moment

B - 31/01/2012 20:36 - Netherlands

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

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bigbuttsowhat 0

Friday 15 May 2009 1:34

kill the girlfriend

aback 4

Friday 15 May 2009 1:37

Yeah, well if you're in the US, Father's Day is coming up. You can send him a condom.

wordgirl 0

Friday 15 May 2009 6:05

The 15 minutes you spent talking to your loser dad is more than I've been able to speak to my loser dad in the last dozen or so years. Consider yourself lucky that you can even be mad about that. My dad chooses not to have a relationship with his kids. How'd you like to switch?

24788 6

Friday 15 May 2009 6:08

wow, your dad is evil.

brittanycraze 0

Friday 15 May 2009 6:22

wow.. #74, FYL for having enough time to type all that. OP, that sucks, man..

I_am_stupid_also 6

Friday 15 May 2009 6:28

#74, you are an idiot. Read the post a few more times, and have your dog explain it to you. They had three hours, not three hours left. If he made the trip to visit the OP, he would have visited the OP. Instead he had an out of town rendezvous prearranged. And yes I know what a **** is, and that is why I called the sperm donor a ****.

circayouandme 0

Friday 15 May 2009 6:32

Eeeeeek.

kellster 2

Friday 15 May 2009 6:40

Your dad is a complete bastard.

JustinKingr 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 6:43

in Soviet Russia, a bastard is your dad.

AtoZnumbersand_ 1

Friday 15 May 2009 6:50

Mixedcalibabe; You seem to like to talk about sex a lot.. not just in a general way but like you're the master of it. You're nickname includes 'babe' and you see people inferior to yourself in most ways (ie calling strangers hun, being a regular sex god etc..) So; this either means you are A) A pretentious, condescending crack ***** who sleeps around more than the usual crack ***** or more likely B) a pretentious, condescending 14 year old unfortunate looking virgin who wishes she was a crack ***** who sleeps around more than the usual crack *****.

girandwogpig 0

Friday 15 May 2009 7:31

HOW DOES HE GO FOR 2 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES????

Phlecks 0

Friday 15 May 2009 7:51

AtoZnumbersand_ You've just won the internet. Take a bow.

Fiona_fml 0

Friday 15 May 2009 7:55

HAHAHAHA "SURPRISE SEX !!!" jk jk jk But tell your dad to hang out with you another day And #74 you need to get a life you have no life if you had time to type ALL that or unless that was you back then THEN it's nothing big