Poor Mr Nibbles

Karlo Kračun - 09/07/2020 08:08

Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Soon.

erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

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deadhammy - 11/01/2013 07:09 - United States - San Diego

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

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squeak - 12/09/2011 13:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

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lovingsnow - 27/02/2010 07:37 - Singapore

Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

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idontevenlikehamsters - 08/04/2013 00:00 - United States - Manassas

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

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roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

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Alas…

Chris - 13/02/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

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Poor little guy

Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

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whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

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Hammy

hamsterlovinn - 06/06/2009 05:51 - United States

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

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Yummi_913 18

Thursday 9 July 2020 21:31

It must have been blazing hot in your car. For you guys not to even consider that, it wouldn't have lasted long anyway.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 July 2020 21:21

What? What? In the butt.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 July 2020 9:35

You must have terribly bad breath!

bloopaloop 27

Thursday 9 July 2020 15:00

They don’t go in your butthole, fyi.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 July 2020 16:00

Right, those are gerbils.

bloopaloop 27

Thursday 9 July 2020 16:35

You’re right! That’s probably why it died.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 July 2020 21:21

What? What? In the butt.

Yummi_913 18

Thursday 9 July 2020 21:31

It must have been blazing hot in your car. For you guys not to even consider that, it wouldn't have lasted long anyway.

Alyxandrea Loffer 12

Friday 10 July 2020 10:12

return it to the pet store and tell them what happened. typically theyll honor it

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML

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Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML

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Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

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Today, I nearly burnt a hole in my esophagus because I couldn’t stand my dad’s taunts about me not being able to stomach ghost pepper hot sauce. Irony is a cruel bitch. FML

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Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

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Today, I finally fixed the flickering light in my office by tapping it with a broom. Turns out, it wasn't actually the light but a family of squirrels having a some sort of disco party in the ceiling. FML

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