Kids, Parenting, Sleep Medication Peace and quiet - FML

Peace and quiet

And there's none left for me - 15/01/2025 18:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I bought a bottle of tart cherry juice, which is a strong sleep aid. My wife didn't realize this, and gave a glass to both the kids and herself. Now its 6pm and they're all fast asleep. It's going to be such a joy when they all wake up at 3 am. FML

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Anonymous - 15/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to start my exciting new job. I knew I needed a good night's sleep to prepare but because of the excitement I was worried, so I decided to try that tart cherry juice I kept seeing on TikTok to help me sleep. It worked. A little too well. I woke up 14 hours later, missed my first day, got fired. FML

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Whoops

smth - 06/07/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

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Blackfell - 07/08/2012 17:59 - United States

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

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Bad parenting

Anonymous - 19/06/2024 21:00

Today, we got back from our second honeymoon and went to pick the kids up from my mom's. Surprisingly, they were both sat quietly watching TV. Half jokingly, I asked my mom what her secret was. Without even a guilty pause she told me, "Benadryl for chesty coughs in their juice. You're welcome." FML

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hejdixjeln - 17/03/2013 10:25 - United States - Evanston

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

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Anonymous - 08/09/2012 09:57 - United States

Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

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Buzzed

Who needs sleep - 19/04/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML

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StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

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Desperate measures

dying - 29/09/2023 00:02

Today, after four days without sleep, I took an entire bottle of melatonin gummies. Nothing happened. FML

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Bad babysitter

cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

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Yudith 25

Friday 17 January 2025 13:25

And that's how I learned that tart cherry juice is somehow a strong sleep aid.

Yudith 25

Friday 17 January 2025 13:25

And that's how I learned that tart cherry juice is somehow a strong sleep aid.

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Today, I tried to organise my closet by colour-coding my clothes. In the process, I accidentally knocked over a shelf, creating an avalanche of mismatched shoes. I now have a closet that looks like it barely survived an earthquake in Selfridges. FML

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Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

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Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

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Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

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Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

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Today, I had my first appointment with my new therapist. After I told her my family history and past abusive situations, she looked at me and asked, "How are you still sane?" FML

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