Intimacy, Sex, Family Jealousy Pawpaw got game - FML

Pawpaw got game

Anonymous - 19/09/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

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Austerity measures

Anonymous - 13/10/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my grandad complaining that without the winter heating allowance, it’s going to be too cold for him and grandma to get naked for sex, unless they just expose the necessary bits to each other for a few minutes. Props they still get it on in their 70s but still, ew grandad. FML

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fuckerman - 03/05/2009 03:47 - Canada

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

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Two sides to every story

Anonymous - 08/08/2020 02:02

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

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kawood - 30/03/2012 11:32 - United States

Today, I had to sit in the hospital with my 88-year-old grandfather by myself. During the five hours I was there, he insisted on sharing the intimate details of his many sexcapades that he has had since World War II. FML

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Anonymous - 15/06/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

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Testimony night

Anonymous - 15/11/2019 18:00

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

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Anonymous - 14/07/2018 05:00

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

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therewasnocurtain - 06/04/2015 20:07 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

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chickety boom - 02/08/2013 12:41 - United States - Austin

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 19 September 2023 15:14

At least you're future is bright. I've heard nursing homes are total ****-fests. Hopefully, you'll live long enough to get into one.

core01 30

Wednesday 20 September 2023 3:58

Men will force women to carry the entire domestic load + work full time, and then bitch about sex. Divorce her already.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 19 September 2023 15:14

At least you're future is bright. I've heard nursing homes are total ****-fests. Hopefully, you'll live long enough to get into one.

core01 30

Wednesday 20 September 2023 3:58

Men will force women to carry the entire domestic load + work full time, and then bitch about sex. Divorce her already.

n3rdn3ss 8

Wednesday 20 September 2023 5:46

Or you know, have an open and honest discussion about what's going on instead of leading it to divorce.

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Today, I found out that I owe the government money and that the amount will increase if I miss the deadline two months ago. FML

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Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

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Today, my now ex-girlfriend tried to claim that because she was raised by hippies with a free love belief that she’s entitled to that belief, but I’m not. Basically she was saying she’s allowed to cheat with any guy she wants, but if I even looked at another woman she’d chop my dick off. DUMPED. FML

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Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML

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Today, I posted a review, on a strictly anonymous site, about a doctor I went to see for my anxiety but who actually made me worse. A while later, the same doctor called my home phone, addressed me by my full name and threatened to sue me for slander if I didn't take down the review. All of which was 100% true. FML

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