Miscellaneous Patronising

Patronising

quickfingers100 - 22/05/2011 09:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

guy - 15/03/2013 05:31 - Canada - Port Coquitlam

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

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Hey!

wtf dad - 10/01/2013 03:15 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

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Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

Gold diggerzzzzzzz - 15/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is getting married for the 4th time. First it was my mom, then as they got older, he married a woman 10 years his junior, then his third wife was my age and 28 years his junior. Now at the grand old age of 64, he is marrying a 22 year old, 42 years his junior, almost 2 decades younger than me. FML

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OfCourse - 27/06/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

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Thanks Dad

Anonymous - 07/09/2018 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my father told all of us that he eloped with his girlfriend of two months. I'm engaged to the woman's daughter, and have been engaged since before they met, but now my family is making fun of me for marrying my "sister". FML

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Anonymous - 23/08/2012 21:40 - Ireland - Kilkelly

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

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Stephie2009 - 30/10/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

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- - 09/11/2010 00:38 - United States

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

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Tripping

Blank - - United States

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

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Beefballs - 29/07/2009 06:22 - Canada

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year-old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year-old uncle, and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

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CateXOX 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:14

I think your dad has some serious issues...

Astroman129 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:12

whatever. She can't control what comes out of your mouth.

JennaMarie420 2

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:23

beat her ass

emmiep1011 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:23

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

9ghost4 4

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:24

you life sucks

iLazy 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:26

Refer to the Japanese singer. Ayumi if I am not wrong. Her mother married her ex-boyfriend. So if they have sex is that incest?

Yaboymv 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:29

id be ****** my mommy

jenaandtyler4eva 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:32

just don't call her mom and tell her your not blood related and tell her to not treat you like a kid

unvmesucka 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:33

That sucks. Guess it's time to move out and buy your own damn clothes. FYL

MrSexyPants 14

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:48

Is your name London Tipton by chance?

ninjs_abby 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:50

your dad is nasty. t

Kla017 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 18:55

It's not illegal in the states if the perents give permission

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

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Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

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Today, while having sex with my wife, I got a sudden leg cramp. While sliding off the bed, I found a sewing needle. With my ball sack. I ended up with a one-inch gash. FML

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Today, my mom sold my watch collection on Vinted. I've spent over 15 years on the collection and I don't even live with my mom. I'm still wondering how she got in. FML

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Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

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Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

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