Intimacy Party boy

Party boy

Daemon - 27/10/2008 04:57 - France

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my two best friends. While we are doing it, she asked me, "You're not afraid your friends will hear us?" The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth was, "Don't worry, they're used to it." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

emkatch - 21/07/2009 19:47 - Canada

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

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tsukinoie - 02/02/2014 06:33 - United States

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

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Sofi - 21/08/2018 06:00

Today, I canceled going to a party with my sisters because I had a secret plan to have a threesome. They left for the party, but soon returned thinking it would be no fun without me. By then we were already making a lot of indecent noise. They heard it all. FML

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Anonymous - 28/09/2015 09:01 - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead." FML

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Let's get loud

Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

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Sorry, what?

butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

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Awkward conversation

anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

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Classic

Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

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Nice to put a face to the screaming!

dormlyfe - 24/09/2015 02:23 - United States - Moraga

Today, I met new people at my dorm, only to find they already knew me because they listen to my boyfriend and me have sex all the time. FML

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Perfect?

NeverGonnaGetAny - 23/02/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

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Chaith 16

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:44

Considering this was during a one night stand, I'd say what you said wasn't far off.

MissCajun 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 20:28

lmfao thats what you get for being a man ***** :)

judeneon 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:03

#3 present tense dude.

_TONGAN_ 5

Monday 16 August 2010 3:35

Hey tour just being honest

HateGreenPeas 0

Monday 16 March 2009 4:31

hahahaha

Meegggaaann 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 4:47

*****.

Chaith 16

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:44

Considering this was during a one night stand, I'd say what you said wasn't far off.

Boomi 38

Tuesday 13 September 2016 5:53

Pretty much like Barney from "How I Met Your Mother"

Valencia_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 4:57

Man, that made me LOL.

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:36

You should at least pretend you don't do it often!

racer_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 0:33

Funny indeed!!! There are lots of reasons why this was the proper answer. But why is that a FML anyway?

JokestrMike89 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 1:17

#6: #5 explains exactly how it is an FML. haha I was about to say, for how smooth you seem, you can certainly kill a night with a girl. haha

Sway_fml 0

Monday 20 April 2009 6:30

You have a fork in the road on this situation. If the girl continues and doesn't get bothered by this...do you like what you're getting into or should you be afraid this girl's been around the block or two....lol. And if she stayed and you're cool with her freaky-ness...which I don't think I'll mind....she's def a keeper for future weekends.