Health, Students Scary Paranoid

Paranoid

rockefoe - - United States

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

I prefer my mysteries solved, thank you

Pauly - 21/12/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the source of the "mystery whistling" I’ve been hearing in my house for days was my own nose. Apparently, I’ve got a built-in wind instrument. FML

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Snug as a bug…

Anonymous - 02/10/2019 02:01

Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML

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That's a great look!

MissQ - 20/06/2020 17:01

Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML

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Late night

Ring a ding ding - 15/10/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML

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Anonymous - 05/06/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

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woof? - 19/04/2015 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

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Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

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Creepy Crawly

chelseasdead - 04/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML

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Could you stop doing that, please?

Scabs - 09/08/2010 16:54 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

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DIY

Jezza - 02/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

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marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:09

hahah hate it when that happens :)

dacho 7

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:12

lol, happens to me sometimes xD Except I figure it out rather quickly, when it starts to follow me around xD

Savie_Anna 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:25

I hate it when that happens! And I've made the mistake of freaking out too, but not for an hour. lol

Ross2Smoove 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:31

your dirt

supermannewt 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:32

ur a dumbass

julie3841 11

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:37

blow your nose, go to sleep. problem solved.

jjtivey97 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:42

there's a word for people like you: retard

SarevokRob 1

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:47

you should have told him what you wanted. Guys like that initiative. YDI.

sourgirl101 28

Wednesday 30 June 2010 18:23

????

jjtivey97 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 23:58

wrong fml

danipoo4u 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:47

Haha this made me actually lol. XD

sugarr0babby0 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 18:18

Your a ghost ! 

twiggysyndrome 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:49

ive done that, while I was intoxicated. not sober... poor you

kaykay_322 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:49

... you know I hope next time you figure out what it is. -.-

Barrientos432 5

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:50

Noses can whistle?.. o.o

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

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Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

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Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

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Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

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Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

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Today, I failed my maths exam because of one single question, which I have been practicing for months and gotten very good at it. It was the first question… however, when the exam started, I forgot it all. FML

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