Dogs, Cars Animals Paintwork

Paintwork

MY CAR - 15/11/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Pick it up

Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

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Parklife!

Anonymous - 23/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML

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GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

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Cujo

Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

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hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

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MakeItMaaco - 11/07/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

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j - 04/06/2009 03:36 - Australia

Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML

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Bad Day for a Good Boy

Dakota - 28/09/2017 04:30

Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML

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Blowback

Bleh! - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML

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Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

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Renesaga 8

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:39

A dog doing a rain dance? Please tell me you recorded this and uploaded it to YouTube.

deviable 9

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:40

Lasso that back bone back in and stage a tap dance on his face. With cleats.

kensiroo 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 17:44

wow. honestly, OP sounds like a snobby bitch.

Maddoctor 10

Tuesday 15 November 2011 18:07

Really? How? Because I didn't know it was a snobby thing to get upset over some other guy letting his dog ruin the roof of your car. You must be the chillest person alive if you have absolutely no problem with that.

CaptainJackCat 5

Tuesday 15 November 2011 20:22

Question. How would you feel if someone allowed their pet to destroy the roof of your car? I'm pretty sure you'd be complaining.

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 15 November 2011 17:52

A taser will compensate for lack of backbone.

weepingangel_fml 7

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:05

Haha! That was me!!!

HomeAl0ne 20

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:09

There's this new thing they've invented for when someone a bit scary starts doing things to your car when you're inside it. It's called 'driving away'. Check it out.

lionlvr 9

Tuesday 15 November 2011 23:43

Do not call dogs pieces of crap, he was taught that way and he can't help it. All dogs are sweet.

zaz2408 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 3:43

The owner taught the dog to climb ontop of a car and do a rain dance? Damn, he's one hell of a dog trainer, that's for sure.

friedeggyolive 7

Wednesday 16 November 2011 0:36

hahaha I love you!

happy_dino 6

Wednesday 16 November 2011 0:38

Where's the WTF button when you need it?

Ami_lee333 5

Wednesday 16 November 2011 0:41

you smiled as if it was cute LMAO

Donniehw 5

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:12

Punch him in the balls! Then go inside and lock the door... He won't be able to get inside.... And you get revenge for your car...

chels1994 11

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:39

Well, it needs to find its way back into town... not saying you deserved this cuz you didn't, but have some self respect. Not all huge guys are violent and tough. Just be careful.