Embarrassing, Surgery Health Padded out - FML

Padded out

Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

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Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

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Rock and a hard place

Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

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Thanks, I'm cured!

fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

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Double down

coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

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Silver linings

Butt Hurt - 10/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

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What even is that?

git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

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We're keeping you in for observation

CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

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stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

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fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

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CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

hockeyplaya 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

lol sucks for you

popoman 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 5:32

YDI for having an ass.

bleedinginside 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 6:14

onfg I love popoman pic

Daemonknight 0

Friday 23 July 2010 22:18

I had to do exactly what op did... good thing is that I haven't had any since

UnluckyChicka 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 12:52

see now u know how girls feel wearing those frickin uncomfortable things. lol

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

WantACookie666 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 20:56

pilonidal cyst You can get it from walking around a lot.. sweat and whatnot i only know what it is cause i have one :/ they SUCK

fuckme93 0

Friday 1 April 2011 10:35

hey the names alex

teentee401 36

Friday 8 August 2014 0:24

Hey, the name's No One Gives A Shit.

spazchild44815 7

Sunday 16 October 2016 18:37

It's called a pilonidal cyst and they're fairly common.

QJD 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

That must suck.

danedo 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:04

...I don't get it. You had surgery. You have an excuse.

tracylynn2014 0

Monday 9 January 2012 1:45

The point is that he's a dude and has to wear a pad.

rokai_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:05

#2 - anything's possible. and to the OP , that really sucks. but atleast you have an excuse right ?

NomNomMuffin 5

Tuesday 3 January 2012 8:52

Now everyone knows how horrid they are for us girls !

Compwiz1993 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:05

Wow, that sucks. Thanks for letting me see my lunch again though!

Krumm_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:06

Tell the boyfriend to lay off hammering that shit.

pencilmustache 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:07

they couldn't give you any bandages?.....

Fridiculously 0

Monday 19 April 2010 13:26

that's a pen, btw.

EdenLis 14

Wednesday 20 June 2012 4:39

If it secretes enough fluid for him to have to wear a maxi pad, I don't think a band aid would help very much.

Kickinchicken213 3

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:07

Oooh, sucks for you!

mildver 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:08

hahaha, man that sucks big time!!!! FYL

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