Overheard musings

thanks hun - 07/05/2020 20:00

Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML
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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Sagar Nair 12

Ok your husband is my idol now 🤣 But then again he should’ve timed it better.

12 1
RichardPencil 30

You're gonna need a divorce and a new career. I'd say quit your job, but comedy gold like this will spread through your whole industry like wildfire. Even if you interview at a competitor, the first question will be, "Aren't you the wife of the Shit-Killer?"

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Sagar Nair 12

Ok your husband is my idol now 🤣 But then again he should’ve timed it better.

12 1
RichardPencil 30

You're gonna need a divorce and a new career. I'd say quit your job, but comedy gold like this will spread through your whole industry like wildfire. Even if you interview at a competitor, the first question will be, "Aren't you the wife of the Shit-Killer?"

10 4
BurnInDemonFire 35

If they cheered, you need a new job. If they looked embarrassed or disgusted, you need a new husband.

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JasonThorn 20

"Excuse me...give me ten minutes, then call 911 and tell the police about the DOUBLE MURDER..."

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