Intimacy, Kids, Sex Frustration O'Reilly - FML

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still can’t get any - 04/04/2022 06:00

Today, I’m convinced my son has some sort of radar. Literally every time my partner and I try to have sex, he wakes up and interrupts us. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but the fact that it’s happened at 12am, 12pm, 6am and 3pm tells me otherwise. FML

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Someone needs a good talking to

Anonymous - 02/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband once again woke me up in the wee hours to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great but as soon as he nuts he rolls over and goes right back to sleep. I however am stuck awake and can’t get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. FML

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Frustrated

Anonymous - 03/04/2023 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I realised it’s been too long since my partner and I have had sex. How do I know? This is the third night in a row he’s humped me in his sleep. FML

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No sex for you

Anonymous - 09/01/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I realized that my fiancée is using our son to make sure we can't have sex. He's two years-old and hasn't once slept in his own bed or crib. FML

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Not now

nexus - 25/09/2021 09:59 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML

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Anonymous - 16/01/2015 18:51 - Norway - Bergen

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

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Peek a boo

Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

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My ears! My ears!

Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

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atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

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Bing bong beep

Anonymous - 12/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our son fell asleep with his iPad playing some sort of annoying beeping noise from one of his games. We can hear it in our room and it’s just annoying enough that neither of us can sleep. The iPad is under his body, so if I try to get it he WILL wake up and WON’T go back to sleep tonight. FML

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Anonymous - 09/07/2019 20:00

Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML

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RichardPencil 30

Monday 4 April 2022 6:14

I'm guessing your partner has a hidden panic button that they press to wake up the baby whenever sex seems imminent.

Amandapetrova 13

Monday 4 April 2022 10:45

😅😅Send him to granny.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 4 April 2022 6:14

I'm guessing your partner has a hidden panic button that they press to wake up the baby whenever sex seems imminent.

Amandapetrova 13

Monday 4 April 2022 10:45

😅😅Send him to granny.

cariboucontainer 22

Monday 4 April 2022 11:59

He doesn't want any siblings haha

Studious_Gluteus 19

Monday 4 April 2022 19:44

Y'all need better insulation in your walls.

Hangryko 31

Sunday 5 February 2023 12:53

So invest in a lock for your bedroom door.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

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Today, I was updating our company's tracking system, lovingly making sure every load was set up to track, asking drivers to accept tracking, excluding some from reporting that didn't track right, deleting unnecessary loads. Then I deleted an extremely important load. The one load that absolutely should not have been deleted. FML

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Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year-old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

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Today, I got pushed around by several suspicious mothers in a playground. I just wanted to sit down and rest my feet while I waited for my wife to finish her shopping across the street. FML

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Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

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Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

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