Animals, Cars Cats Not the brightest moggy - FML

Not the brightest moggy

Ouch - 09/11/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML

360

123

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

polish_chik - 01/09/2009 04:00 - Canada

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

26 314

38 841

Home entertainment

Reb - 10/06/2022 10:00

Today, my cat got out. I was chasing him in the field behind my backyard, barefoot while wearing PJs, yelling my head off like a raving lunatic. The field soil was sludge, and my feet sunk right in with every step. After I got him, I heard a snap of a soda can. My neighbours were there the whole time, watching. FML

779

314

Rescue cat

crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

6 434

844

Anonymous - 24/01/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

42 087

8 025

MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

33 697

3 458

Get back

Rebeccs - 14/08/2022 20:00 - Canada

Today, my cat escaped through my front door. It was dark out, so I had no idea where I was going. I finally caught up to him in my neighbour’s lawn and I gave him heck for scaring me. It took me a minute to realize I was actually talking to a bush in their flowerbed. FML

674

349

crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

33 641

5 856

ouch - 26/03/2011 02:27

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

32 236

5 459

anugla - 18/08/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

55 576

19 489

Cats and Cars

Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:49 - United States - Dublin

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

43 631

5 923

Yudith 25

Sunday 10 November 2024 18:20

This cat need a catio ASAP; it's become a matter of life and death at that point.

d j mom 9

Sunday 10 November 2024 18:22

you're awesome for saving your baby!!!!!

Yudith 25

Sunday 10 November 2024 18:20

This cat need a catio ASAP; it's become a matter of life and death at that point.

d j mom 9

Sunday 10 November 2024 18:22

you're awesome for saving your baby!!!!!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

39 573

4 404

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

45 548

3 578

Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML

2 768

773

Today, in front of my 6 brothers, my mother told me I had the smallest penis at birth. FML

4 263

323

Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML

334

225

Today, a customer berated me and told me to stop whining because I have to work on the weekend. What did I do to deserve this? I said, "Hi, how are you doing today?" FML

26 492

1 927