Nice way to go, really

motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

RichardPencil 30

That is how I want to die! Anyone who really hates my comments can send over a large-breasted woman to finish me off -- everybody wins!

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jbuckets_404 38

Put a paper grocery bag over her head: Problem SOLVED!!!

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RichardPencil 30

That is how I want to die! Anyone who really hates my comments can send over a large-breasted woman to finish me off -- everybody wins!

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jbuckets_404 38

What if it's a large-breasted MALE instead?!

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RichardPencil 30

No, that won't do. It's got to be at least one woman and she (or they) have to be somewhat good-looking. I want to get high-fives from the demons and other sinners when I get to my afterlife. Hell is going to be bad enough -- I don't want to be a laughing-stock for getting ****** to death by an ugly chick!

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sickerthanyou 13

And you are complaining about motor boating her?

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Sagar Nair 12

That’s not the problem. Clearly OP’s an asthmatic and he couldn’t breathe properly when he’s in close spaces i.e. his face in between a girl’s boobs.

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jbuckets_404 38

Put a paper grocery bag over her head: Problem SOLVED!!!

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RichardPencil 30

Partial credit. You also need a bag for your head in case hers breaks!

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WistayShlaio82 13

Sounds like you two should have talked more.

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nemcali 34

What about doggy style instead? :)

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