Intimacy, Sex Dreams Nice choice

Nice choice

walken away - 25/06/2020 23:00

Today I had the dirtiest, kinkiest, most vividly realistic sex dream of my life. I was getting it on with Christopher Walken. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

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Hottttt

whatthefuck - 27/12/2015 23:22 - United States - Providence

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

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Poor pillow

Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

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Disappointed

WhatALetdown - 25/11/2015 00:26 - United States - Danbury

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

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urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

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wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

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Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

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Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

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Morning motivation

thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

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Inactive

inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

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pjsr 32

Thursday 25 June 2020 23:03

We need more cowbell

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 26 June 2020 4:09

Hollywood royalty. Nice.

pjsr 32

Thursday 25 June 2020 23:03

We need more cowbell

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 26 June 2020 4:09

Hollywood royalty. Nice.

mskeptik 12

Friday 26 June 2020 21:08

Are you sure it wasn't Jon Voight?

J15237 25

Tuesday 30 June 2020 2:33

Well are you male or female? That will affect just how much of an FML it really is.

JackWood 20

Tuesday 21 May 2024 17:54

You're probably not the only one in that boat.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

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Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

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Today, I tried canceling my internet service. The lady on the phone had me on hold for half an hour when, all of a sudden, the call dropped. When I tried phoning back, I was informed that they closed half an hour earlier. FML

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Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

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Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML

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Today, I found out that the shampoo I’ve been using has yogurt in, following a prank my boyfriend did. Turns out he forgot about it and I’ve been using it for 5 days now. FML

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