Kids Next time? Never! - FML

Next time? Never!

Anonymous - 10/06/2014 20:06 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

51 407

16 530

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Yeoman - 19/11/2011 07:47 - New Zealand

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

37 242

7 121

Lisa - 16/12/2014 03:38 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

36 268

4 381

We need to talk…

Anonymous - 11/06/2014 21:38 - Australia - Granville

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

50 616

20 785

Logic 101

Anonymous - 07/03/2020 17:01 - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

1 642

294

yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

37 219

5 007

Wise kid

Anonymous - 23/11/2020 17:02

Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML

959

455

Preference

Windstar - 07/04/2009 07:32 - Canada

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

79 873

7 976

loser - 17/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

21 016

52 147

Call CPS

LaurenJ - 18/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML

928

162

Kids

really? - 28/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML

1 577

159

Demig0d6 14

Wednesday 11 June 2014 2:00

Maybe you shouldn't have done it

flashback.miss 28

Wednesday 11 June 2014 2:01

"Well, I couldn't do worse."

Tannasgh 22

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:13

Ouch...

Sigilwen 24

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:15

She has no idea what all goes in to raising kids. Sad thing is they think YOU screwed up raising them when in reality there just mad that skipping dinner then wanting dessert doesn't happen.

askullnamedbilly 33

Wednesday 11 June 2014 18:16

Oooor OP could be a legitimately crappy parent. Just because he knows how to use FML doesn't mean he didn't manage to screw his kids up.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:17

Regift the book to her when she has children...

kelsorg 21

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:28

good thing she wouldn't even be able to get that book without YOU in the first place. UNFORGIVABLE. fyl

Nyarlothatep 12

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:09

Tell her you already made one mistake, so why make another?

draylwwis 2

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:12

beet that ass

SpamPam 18

Friday 13 June 2014 6:52

Beets are for eating not beating

stupidface15 16

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:15

at least she didnt give you drugs

BWARD51 12

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:20

Umm burn.

Spyderbane 10

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:31

There is a chance that they have a great relationship and the daughter was making a playful joke.

slipstreak 10

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:35

Your daughter is awesome. Bazinga.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, it was supposed to be my wedding day. This is the second time we've had to postpone it. The first was due to COVID, this time the sudden passing of my fiance's mother. FML

1 701

169

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

52 070

4 161

Today, it was the premiere of a huge play I've worked on for months. The latest week we've practised a lot, resulting in little sleep. In one of the scenes I'm just lying there pretending to be asleep. Guess who actually fell asleep? FML

48 777

10 475

Today, I was yelled at and almost fired for showing up "late" to work. I was the first one here. FML

4 831

335

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML

6 771

47 996

Today, my boyfriend had the very expensive watch he got me for Xmas resized. I dropped it trying to put it on and shattered the glass. The warranty won't cover it because of the adjustments made. FML

8 886

1 451