Insects, Scary Miscellaneous New, from Goop

New, from Goop

Anonymous - - United States

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

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Ouch!

pickle - 20/09/2019 06:01

Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML

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chelsea - 07/03/2011 22:23

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

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Where did you come from?

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

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yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

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ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

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Ciara - 11/06/2012 20:44 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

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Classic confusion

Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

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Knackered

morethanablondemoment - 28/08/2015 04:40 - United States - Redding

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

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Freak out

Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

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Crash92 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:09

Where have you been sticking your head?

TurtleGenius 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:10

Pour gasoline on your eyelashes and set it on fire; that should help. FYL indeed.

abby_jo08 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 6:15

yeah. i've definitely been there.

breaksprinter_ 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 6:20

Yuk that totally sent chills down my spine! What the hell is with all the FML's that could be taken care of with personal hygiene, lately? So, YDI.

annahoward 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 6:25

okay,wtf. you better check what's on your pillow.

your_mother 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 6:32

OMG. I HAD A TICK ON MY EYE WHEN I WAS LIKE 7. I was at hershey park and had to go have it surgically removed. it sucked so bad

Beckleyy 15

Sunday 24 May 2009 6:34

Agree with #2, ew.

Im_that_girl 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 6:40

Gross, lyme disease.

ilovedastone 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 6:59

at least it wasn't burrowed in your skin!!!

baysidebird88 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 7:24

ew thats so gross. my baby sister had one in her hair and it took my parents like three days to find it...

FmyF_inglife 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 7:47

What kind of mascara are you using? You totally gotta change your brand of mascara, FYL! Having a tick on your eye when you wake up is indeed an FML.

LilMissPatched_fml 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 7:51

@6, that wouldn't help, that would anger the tick, causing it to regurgitate everything, which includes any diseases. @OP- hope no one saw it

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they'd actually called up. FML

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Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

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Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

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Today, I saw maggots dropping from beneath my car. I looked under, to see a rotting paw dangling from my engine. That would explain the smell. FML

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Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

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Today, my parents got mad at me because I laughed when they called the bullseye "bonsai" while watching darts. They've always thought it was bonsai. FML

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