Work, Sex Family Nature, nurture…?

Nature, nurture…?

Anonymous - 02/08/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it seems that despite being twins, my brother and I are very different people. Last week I got written up at work for taking too long a lunch break. This afternoon he got written up for having sex at work, again. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 07/06/2019 14:03

Today, I got fired from my job. My boss is my brother. His reason being that, "it would create awkward tension between us." I've been working for him for 5 years, and it's like he's only just realised that I was there. FML

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To the top

Anonymous - 08/07/2022 22:00

Today, my brother and I work for the same company, I’ve been here longer, but he got promoted first and has a higher salary. At first I was afraid he was just better than me, so imagine my relief to discover he’s still an idiot, but he’s just been dicking our manager on the regular. FML

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Cover me

Mrmz07 - 01/05/2016 09:32 - United States - Midland

Today, I was called in to work on my day off to cover for a co-worker because she was busy getting it on with my brother. FML

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Thank you for your service

Anonymous - 02/04/2022 12:00

Today, I caught my wife with my brother. I demanded a divorce and, out of desperation, she claimed she thought it was me because we’re twins. We might be twins, but we’re dissimilar enough it’s obvious which is fucking which, plus he has both hands, whereas I left one of mine behind in fucking Iraq. FML

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Never the twain shall meet

Anonymous - 15/07/2023 11:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, at the office, my boss lectured me for being two minutes late for work, even though yesterday I worked on my lunch break because she needed my help. important to mention: my boss is my sister. FML

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Dude - 23/10/2010 15:13 - Singapore

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

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Knackered

exhausted - 20/02/2023 22:00

Today, I got written up for “making a big show” of being exhausted at work. I was trying to hide it. FML

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KnightToucan - 21/06/2019 02:09

Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML

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That's that, then

Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

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a816090 - 27/05/2019 18:09

Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML

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poopface82 23

Sunday 8 September 2024 14:25

If you’re going to get in trouble, go big.

Battousai124 9

Sunday 4 August 2024 0:52

You both sound insufferable, and he sounds disgusting. FBYL

poopface82 23

Sunday 8 September 2024 14:25

If you’re going to get in trouble, go big.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I bought a 3 lb bag of pears. The first two bites were delicious! The third bite revealed a worm and its thousands of eggs. FML

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Today, my boss fired three of the four other people who were going to work with me on Black Friday in my department. Now it's just me and a new hire. My boss doesn't see a problem. FML

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Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

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Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

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Today, I’m getting a divorce because apparently, when you send your now soon-to-be ex wife a live photo and she presses on it, you can hear your mistress speaking in the background. FML

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Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

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