Sex, Awkward Intimacy My ears! - FML

My ears!

PoorMe - 22/02/2013 13:06 - United States

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Noise complaint

scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

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Thanks mom

Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

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- 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

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glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

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fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

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DisturbedMan - 15/01/2014 22:29 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

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Bear - 01/02/2009 17:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

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Confusing family

confused - 25/01/2015 03:26 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML

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Now watching

Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

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Supergirl1988 16

Friday 22 February 2013 19:22

It's better than hitting mute and hearing a very loud sex life from your parents!

Lauren324 18

Friday 22 February 2013 19:22

F your moms life not yours!

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Saturday 23 February 2013 0:06

How does this make your life bad?

Satoaoi 13

Saturday 23 February 2013 0:36

if they didn't you wouldn't be born

vivvajulianne 5

Saturday 23 February 2013 23:10

exactly?

laya_fml 26

Saturday 23 February 2013 1:09

At least you don't have to worry about any strange noises at night.

noelasis94 18

Saturday 23 February 2013 4:19

Did you continue to listen because if you did it shows you wanted to know all about it

osm1989_fml 6

Saturday 23 February 2013 5:37

There's no winning for parents... I've seen a lot of FMLs where people are complaining that they heard their parents having sex, and now you're complaining because you heard that your parents aren't having sex?

iAmLauRawr 10

Saturday 23 February 2013 5:45

well, at least you dont have to worry about hearing your parents doing the dance of life in the middle of the night. Unless... their non-existent sexy time suddenly becomes more active after their little discussion... then fyl

nvo 6

Saturday 23 February 2013 6:54

F their life

Demonyx 6

Saturday 23 February 2013 7:35

F your mom's life, she just wants the D

Seahawk19 6

Saturday 23 February 2013 9:51

To the heart one of the least favouravle sentences to hear from parents haha

ben10jammin 3

Saturday 23 February 2013 22:04

That's good no disgusting noise keep up the good work

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

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Today, my mom lit a candle in our living room, telling the family how much she loved it. She then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. FML

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Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

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Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

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Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

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Today, I called a cab to get me and my cat home from the vet. After a 40 minute wait and three calls to the taxi company, the operator told me that the driver she sent to my location just confirmed that he already has a woman with my name and a cat in his car. FML

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