Intimacy Multitasking

Multitasking

Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

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Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

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Nice outing

Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

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Mission successful

Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

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Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

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Finals

Gassy - 14/12/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

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Great handle!

I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

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Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

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Class act

LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

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ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

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Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:43

Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:45

She blew you alright.

yeti37 16

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:23

if you were positioned correctly, your nose should have been the cork in the bottle.

notforbirds 9

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:32

I don't think you were doing it right...

ellytoad 13

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:32

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:12

and you'd have a convenient hole to put it in. what? too much?

BananerzFresh 12

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:59

She had the scaredy farts.

Marrach 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 5:08

I don't know what that exactly is supposed to mean on your behalf, but it was something that made me laugh.

gregkingsley 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:07

Nobody likes a cup of chili during sex

adrimarie23 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:11

Guess the full course Mexican dinner was a bad choice!

Deirdre_Curry 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:13

pickles1994 18

Thursday 15 November 2012 11:00

Disgusting*

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Thursday 15 November 2012 11:40

That's*

duckfan4life 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:21

I doubt any guy could keep one if that happened to him

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:13

Haha, Bitch.

duckfan4life 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 5:22

I didn't even realize that! Must be destiny...

thefella 10

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:29

Not gonna lie I scrolled down to see who had comment 69

knoxxx 22

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:23

Lmfao that's terrible. Poor girl, she's probably mortified. Awkward sexual encounters can leave awkward emotional scars.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:38

When you're south of the border that's always a possibility.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

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Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, religion doesn't pay for my car. FML

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Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML

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Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

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Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

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Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML

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