Intimacy Mood: broken

Mood: broken

talkingtoaretard - 25/01/2012 05:00 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Turned off

picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

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Kinky

9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

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Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

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Anonymous - 29/04/2014 18:46 - United States - Swartz Creek

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

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Ahem

Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

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Method acting

Anonymous - 27/05/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

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long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

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lonelyandbored - 31/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

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Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

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Feelings

Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

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HaloR 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 9:00

Forever alone*

ant2590 6

Wednesday 25 January 2012 9:03

She needs practice in talking dirty

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 25 January 2012 12:38

Should have been more specific with what you wanted her to do while you talked dirty. Ex: "Pretend /your/ hands are me touching you"! Etc..... :P (ummmm..... if she's into that sort of stuff) hehe

Maddisonfaye 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 12:56

Well she's obviously a keeper.. So smart!! Haha!!!

thelaxersvlog 9

Wednesday 25 January 2012 13:18

Some people are just too literal

xStaciexLynnx 15

Wednesday 25 January 2012 14:07

Yeah, some people are just not into phone sex. Or sextlng.

l0v3p4in 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 3:59

Or some people prefer the real thing. ;)

hbhockey12 1

Wednesday 25 January 2012 15:10

I think your post should be more like "today I resorted to having phone sex. FML."

Dboyinaz 4

Wednesday 25 January 2012 15:37

Talking dirty with SOMEONE? You didn't know who you were talking dirty with?

CaptainPickles72 18

Wednesday 25 January 2012 19:25

Phone sex hotline employees usually don't like telling you their names... but I wouldn't know that... I heard it somewhere, from a friend, yeah, a friend!

BrysGirl27 14

Wednesday 25 January 2012 15:50

Hahaha wow what a mood killer!:p haha

stariee1997 16

Wednesday 25 January 2012 16:22

The ugly truth. Actions speak louder than words, OP.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 25 January 2012 16:38

This is what happens when you miss-dial 1800-CUMFUCKME and get the suicide hotline, instead.

CaptainPickles72 18

Wednesday 25 January 2012 19:22

Operator: Thank you for calling the suicide hotline, how may I help you? Me: Heehee, yeah.... what are ya wearing!? What are they gonna do, refuse to tell you? I think it would be against policy to refuse a suicidal person.