Sex, Awkward, Parents LGBTQIA+ Misguided - FML

Misguided

Anonymous - 27/10/2023 22:00

Today, my dad invited me to a bar that turned out to be a brothel, because “it’s pathetic that I’m still a virgin and it’s past time I just get it over with.” I’m not a virgin, I’ve just never been with a woman because I’m gay and still haven’t told my family. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Dad of the day

Anonymous - 04/07/2023 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

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myparentsarehoes - 03/08/2009 16:33 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

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Crude

Anonymous - 25/01/2016 01:24 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

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Secrecy

Anonymous - 15/11/2022 04:00

Today, my dad caught me having sex with my secret boyfriend, so he threw him naked into the street. I’m 28 years-old and it’s my house. This kind of bullshit is exactly the reason I kept my boyfriend a secret and why I got a mortgage I can barely afford, just so I didn’t live with my dad anymore. FML

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Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

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News to me

Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

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Lose yourself to find yourself

Hilda - 21/02/2022 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm not the gold star lesbian I've always claimed to be. In fact, I went through a terrible slutty hetero period in college. My mom was disgusted, and my Dad wanted way too many details. FML

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Thanks Dad, but…

Sad cuck - 09/10/2025 22:00

Today, my dad called in a rage, saying he caught my "cheating whore" girlfriend at a bar on a date. I had to admit to him that she and I participate in a cuckold lifestyle. The sheer disgust and disappointment in his voice has been haunting me all day. FML

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Dad jokes, part #23556

ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

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Thanks guys

Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

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Wadlaen 23

Friday 27 October 2023 22:21

Well, wouldn't a brothel be the perfect place to have that conversation with your dad?

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 28 October 2023 0:11

with a dad like that I can see why... just remember you don't owe him shit! ever!

Wadlaen 23

Friday 27 October 2023 22:21

Well, wouldn't a brothel be the perfect place to have that conversation with your dad?

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 28 October 2023 0:11

with a dad like that I can see why... just remember you don't owe him shit! ever!

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 28 October 2023 5:20

Ok, um, that's gross. No one, I mean NO ONE should be taking their relative to a brothel. Weird dad you got there.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

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Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

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Today, I told one of my teachers I have to attend a family member's funeral on a day she's passing a test. She straight up asked if I could reschedule it, and if not if I could just give it a miss. FML

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Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

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Today, I was already late so I sprinted to catch the bus. Just as I jumped on, my left shoe flew off, and I practically tripped over my own feet, falling flat on my face in a bus full of strangers. The driver asked, "You OK Ma’am?" while stifling laughter. FML

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Today, I found out that after caring for all of my family and I’m about to get on with my own life, someone has dementia and I'm right back in the same spot I’ve been forever, stuck again with caring for someone else. This has been going on for 20 years. FML

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