Kids Metal as **** - FML

Metal as ****

lerouxmaster - 22/12/2010 11:43

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

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Straight to jail

anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

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Anonymous - 20/04/2013 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

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unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

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potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

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bubbles - 05/09/2009 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

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mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

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stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

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Sussy Baka

boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

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Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

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in_side_out 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 15:58

**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out

Good_old_Grim 8

Wednesday 22 December 2010 16:01

Where is the "congratulations" button?

Goofy_au86 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 23:20

pure gold, your son is awesome, time to start teaching him pit circles and the wall of death to go along with the moshing

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 23 December 2010 0:03

This kid I knew in high school was a bully and asshole. He went to a guns and roses concert and tried to start a mosh pit. I heard he purposely elbowed people (especially the females) in their faces, which resulted in him getting a severe beat down by a group of the angry boyfriends of the girls he hit.

DVecc 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 0:16

fyl? I would be so proud of my son if he did that, growing up like his father and not being some douchebag like the rest of the kids I grew up with

AsAlwaysFML 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 0:29

He is awesome

nevele11 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 0:37

Hahah FYL? Nahh, your kid is awesome!

adidas125 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 0:46

FYL? Uhm NO! I hope my kid is this cool when he's 4. This shit needs to be one MLIA. (:

BTownPrincess 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 1:08

you should be proud of the little guy, he's 4 and already a bad ass!!!

SilentScreamer 12

Thursday 23 December 2010 1:09

That's fuxking sick. Lucky you. I hope I have a kid that cool some day!

Tallazzmofo90 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 1:27

coolest ****** kid ever!!!

everydayisfml07 3

Thursday 23 December 2010 1:58

win

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was advised to never have kids because they ruin your life, ruin your body, cost you money, stress you out, and the end result is they become an adult you don’t even really like or would choose to spend time with if you weren’t related. It was both my parents who gave me this advice. FML

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Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

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Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

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Today, I received three phone calls and three long and rather monotonous messages on my answering machine. Literally monotonous. As in, repeating the same tone over and over. The caller was a fax machine. FML

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Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

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Today, I slept in the same room as my girlfriend for the first time. She is sweet, smart, and drop-dead gorgeous, so naturally I thought she was going to be the one. Until she farted in her sleep. 56 times. FML

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