ACAB, Injury, Mugging Cops Merry Xmas from the 15th Precinct!

Merry Xmas from the 15th Precinct!

Anonymous - 25/12/2021 23:01

Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML

1 394

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

karmaiguess - 18/10/2018 03:00

Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML

2 380

5 235

Leg it

BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

59 976

2 852

Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

36 965

3 144

Thanks, officer

Anonymous - - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

45 481

3 283

Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

32 952

3 130

Lord have mercy

Simms - 14/03/2012 02:32 - United States

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

22 557

6 479

No one is safe

chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

877

346

FrOsTy25 - 13/04/2011 22:57

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

50 783

7 650

Perv'

Anonymous - 20/09/2021 14:00

Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML

1 634

242

911 please

hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

66 686

4 996

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 26 December 2021 1:48

Too bad you used the word "accidentally" there. If you purposely made the mugger stab himself, we'd think you're a bad-ass superhero, instead of a lucky klutz.

DanielleinDC 33

Sunday 26 December 2021 21:48

Hopefully this is the last time the mugger tries to rob anyone. I hope everything goes well for you.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 26 December 2021 1:48

Too bad you used the word "accidentally" there. If you purposely made the mugger stab himself, we'd think you're a bad-ass superhero, instead of a lucky klutz.