Kids, Food Parents Man's gotta have his biscuit - FML

Man's gotta have his biscuit

Anonymous - 11/11/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Rohirus - 07/06/2012 23:09 - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

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AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

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Cut him some slack

Anonymous - 04/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the dishes. My lazy dad just leaves his dishes in the sink without even wiping or rinsing them out, and it's been going on for weeks. When I confronted him about it, he gave a childish huff and said, "Well, next time, YOU make me breakfast!" He's unemployed and never does the dishes. FML

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Breaking news

Anonymous - 26/10/2019 20:00

Today, my stepfather woke me up at two in the morning just to tell me he bought a sandwich. FML

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Anonymous - 16/01/2016 05:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

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A cute one for a change

We have fun at least - 18/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML

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ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

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Trashy

Anonymous - 07/03/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML

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Backfire

Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

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Peckish

Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

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Justkidding100 41

Sunday 12 November 2023 17:53

learn the word "no" and perhaps "**** no"

dasin 18

Sunday 12 November 2023 9:20

hes got a truck a house and a kid sounds busy to me XD

Justkidding100 41

Sunday 12 November 2023 17:53

learn the word "no" and perhaps "**** no"

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I learned when you’re naked and walking to the shower, it’s not a good idea to spot loose screws on the curtain rail and quickly try to screw them back in, because odds are the curtains will fall down and you’ll be left with your boobs out next to the window looking out onto the main road. FML

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Today, I have Covid and am stuck in isolation with my sister. I have been staying in my room to avoid spreading it, but my sister just yelled at me because I "looked at a bird outside" and might have "given the bird Covid from the mucus in my eyes." She picked this theory up from a stranger on Minecraft. FML

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Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

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Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

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Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

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Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

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