Love Make your mind up - FML

Make your mind up

FML! - 07/08/2011 00:27 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

47 773

6 599

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Oooooh yeah

omgwtf - 01/06/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML

1 915

593

Am I the asshole?

Anon - 22/05/2023 22:00

Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML

681

243

skmusic - 09/04/2009 05:04 - Canada

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

21 311

75 178

I'll just hang out I guess

jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

42 909

4 328

Phone-blocked

unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

41 692

4 176

hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

30 787

2 897

Overbearing parents are the worst

SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

826

1 802

What do you want from me?

Anonymous - 16/09/2023 22:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML

865

164

lovegotmehung - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

31 945

3 907

Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

27 764

89 140

kleider1 9

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:07

Dude. I think she has trust issues

ChickenInMyKitch 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:10

You gotta wait for that second ring brah

havocmike 3

Sunday 7 August 2011 19:22

cut your losses. dump her and move on. women with trust issues aren't worth the trouble and they never get over them.

ashhxoxo 14

Sunday 7 August 2011 19:28

Someone has some serious issuesss.

cullen6995 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 19:30

****** her and chuck her

MyS3lf 24

Sunday 7 August 2011 19:37

Leave the crazy one, save yourself years of misery.

yarani 26

Sunday 7 August 2011 19:58

That just means she's crazy

turtleomnom 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 20:12

dump her she's friggin nuts!

justanotherbird 19

Sunday 7 August 2011 20:13

Holy crap who needs that in their life? I don't know how you stand that OP and still call her your "girlfriend". I would be saying ex-girlfriend.

Sing4me92 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 20:18

Girlfriend needs to see a therapist. She has serious issues

obviousboy 8

Sunday 7 August 2011 20:20

She must be really hot if you're putting up with her dumbass bimbo self.

boomersooner42 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 20:26

Pick up at 2 rings

14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was feeling depressed, so I decided to go snowboarding with friends to cheer myself up. I fell on the first trail and broke my dominant wrist. FML

6 866

585

Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML

426

107

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

34 460

4 572

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

46 262

4 275

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

33 045

3 797

Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

1 913

427