Intimacy Mad beliefs

Mad beliefs

Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

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Sex work is real work

thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

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unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

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Wisdom

fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

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butnotlikethat - 16/03/2013 00:05 - China - Nanchang

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

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Anonymous - 12/06/2012 11:58 - United States - Gorham

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

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tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

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dynah114 - 27/01/2013 19:08 - Israel - Petah Tiqva

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

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Susan - 18/03/2013 08:59 - Ireland

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

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Worried?

Anonymous - 06/04/2023 14:00

Today, my grandmother gave me a long speech detailing how she was worried about my well-being, and told me that I could tell her anything. I tried to open up to her about my mental health issues, to which she responded, "Stop, I don't care, I'm not your therapist." I'm so confused. FML

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arienh4 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:12

#5 Because it's free.

KwitIt 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 12:44

Well... at least you were honest! I hope this doesn't deter you from honesty in the future! And #1, it's not like the OP could have just said, "Nope. Not talking about this with you!" That would be incredibly disrespectful, and it sounds like the grandma brought it up first.

IMz0r 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 20:37

This was funny, but reminds me of the granny-watching-lesbo-**** FML. Bah! Crazy grannies!

hockeygirl202 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 20:38

thats not an fml. its just awkward. no big deal.

intoxicant 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:02

I agree with 43, this is pretty rad

fifafan626 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:16

number???!!!

lnm701 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:22

There's no reason to share that you aren't a virgin with your grandmother... there is a difference between being "honest" and giving too much information. That was probably her version of punishment.